Diaries

Why did I make this site while I have Cyworld?
One of the reasons is I cannot have access to Cyworld at work because my company blocked it, which is very understandable. So I wanted to make a new space that I can check out and write on whenever I want to. For another, I wanted to write things I cannot write on my Cyworld which anybody can read. I spend most of my time at work and it is natural that what I write will be mostly about what happens to me at work. Sometimes I will bad-mouth someone and sometimes I will express my overwhelming feelings for someone I love. Writing can be a stressful thing when you have to do it in an unversity entrance exam. But writing honestly about how you feel and what you think is definitely a great pleasure of life and a great way to release stress.
I am really terrible at keeping things only to myself so I ended up telling Eunjoo about the exsitence of this site. But she is so busy and will probably not read all this. (or are you reading this now, Eunjoo?:)) Hmm...ok, I think I will have limited freedom to write about certain topics.:)
I believe that people don't write their top secrets on a diary because they fear of them being disclosed to someone else one day. However, people keep diaries on the web sites to show other people who they really are and expect readers to understand what they are really thinking and to respect themselves. So, I have a conflict in my mind now whether I want to use this for the first reason or the second reason...I need both purposes, though.
Anyway, I really wish I had my own computer!!!

Unconscious patriotism

I found myself annoyed when I saw an article that calls the East Sea as Sea of Japan although it was mentioned in parentheses.
I am patriotic even though I fell asleep waiting for the soccer match between Korea and France to start.:)

Getting old

Getting older means more gray hairs, wrinkles and responsibilities.
This morning I was stuck in between people on the hellway (subway during rush hours) as usual mornings.
It is pretty revolting when I smell some middle-aged men or my skin touches their skin. (Yes, I am rude.)
Anyway, this morning I saw a woman who looks in her mid-thirties with some gray hair standing right in front of me.
I suddenly felt so afraid about getting old.
How could I get over the fact that I am old if I get old?
How devastating would it feel if I see some gray hair of mine?
I can see the crow feet now, though.

Frank is always busy.
He goes home after everybody leaves.
He goes to the headquarters in Gyeongju which it takes 1.5 hours by KTX and 1 hour by car to get to.
He goes on a business trip to overseas flying for many hours.
He writes reports and long emails about many on-going projects.
He gets a call from the president during lunch time and reports to him on what's happening while his food gets cold.
He even meets the people who will design the interior of our new office.
He is a husband and a father of two sons.
He writes emails at home not because he likes it but seemingly because he can't finish his work in the office.

When I see him do so many things like that, I pity him.
I cannot deny he is a nice man when he shows us a smile and cares about our delicate feelings despite he is in this burdensome and stressful position.
Anybody in my office doesn't seem to understand me admiring Frank.
Maybe working for EnE, such a strict and hierarchical organization had made me more accepting and tolerant?

At the same time, it makes me worry about what I will be doing when I become his age.
Could I even work at a company as a woman in my fourties if I didn't set up my own business?
Could I be a leader of a team and respected by the team members?
Could I still maintain the courtesy toward people under my position?
Would I still be as lazy as I am now? hehe

All I need to do now is stop writing this sort of stuff and work hard.:)