Getting old

Getting older means more gray hairs, wrinkles and responsibilities.
This morning I was stuck in between people on the hellway (subway during rush hours) as usual mornings.
It is pretty revolting when I smell some middle-aged men or my skin touches their skin. (Yes, I am rude.)
Anyway, this morning I saw a woman who looks in her mid-thirties with some gray hair standing right in front of me.
I suddenly felt so afraid about getting old.
How could I get over the fact that I am old if I get old?
How devastating would it feel if I see some gray hair of mine?
I can see the crow feet now, though.

Frank is always busy.
He goes home after everybody leaves.
He goes to the headquarters in Gyeongju which it takes 1.5 hours by KTX and 1 hour by car to get to.
He goes on a business trip to overseas flying for many hours.
He writes reports and long emails about many on-going projects.
He gets a call from the president during lunch time and reports to him on what's happening while his food gets cold.
He even meets the people who will design the interior of our new office.
He is a husband and a father of two sons.
He writes emails at home not because he likes it but seemingly because he can't finish his work in the office.

When I see him do so many things like that, I pity him.
I cannot deny he is a nice man when he shows us a smile and cares about our delicate feelings despite he is in this burdensome and stressful position.
Anybody in my office doesn't seem to understand me admiring Frank.
Maybe working for EnE, such a strict and hierarchical organization had made me more accepting and tolerant?

At the same time, it makes me worry about what I will be doing when I become his age.
Could I even work at a company as a woman in my fourties if I didn't set up my own business?
Could I be a leader of a team and respected by the team members?
Could I still maintain the courtesy toward people under my position?
Would I still be as lazy as I am now? hehe

All I need to do now is stop writing this sort of stuff and work hard.:)